artist statement
My self-portrait was very difficult for me to complete. It has challenged me in many ways and made me really have to think about what I was doing, and what I wanted to say. I knew that it to be personal, truthful, and come from my heart. I honestly was scared speaking about this topic and thought the whole thing was going to come out terrible. But in my gut, I knew I could do it and proceeded to go in the right direction. I started with my research about white culture and read articles about this topic. I found articles from Psychology Today and interviews from the press. I made sure when planning my story that I wanted to stay focus on Erikson's Stages of Developments theory, during the age 18-21 “Identity vs. Role Confusion.” This was about my identity, who I am, and what that means in general. I am a white America, well what the fuck is a white American? More complicated than I thought. And so by answering this question I wanted to ask people who also have shared this experience as I. Moving from the mountains of New Hampshire to the city of New York and talking about what we’ve learned and grown from living this life. So next I wrote my script and questions, and then I started conducting my interviews.
I knew that I wanted to use people whom I was very close too and that we’ve all have shared the exact same experiences. My best friend Rene Bennett was the male I met him in high school and we instantly clicked. We’ve been friends for around 5 years now and he moved down to New York to go to school at NYU my sophomore year of college. The little blonde girl is Meg Perrin she is one of my very closest friends from high school. I met her my freshman year in a musical and she moved down here the same year I did, going to school at Marymount Manhattan. Lastly, the curly brown hair female is my older sister Jessica Pappalardo. Well, she’s my sister, we’re like twins that bicker all the time. She moved down to New York after she graduated from college in Rochester, New York. These guys are like my family down here and it’s just nice to have someone you know from home who just gets it. After having a blast filming them it was time to get some coverage shots. I knew I wanted to be in the film as well, very small amounts, and I needed some of my surrounding areas. When going to the Hilma af Klint it was a good time to bring my camera and some inspiration and views. Luckily also my family came down during the time and we planned to go visit the Statue of Liberty. It was a couple of our first time ever visiting the monument. Riding the ferry around the island and seeing the whole view of New York, it was just magical. I knew it was going to be a perfect way to blend all of it into this video. Then soon after it was time to edit and laying out all my clips and audio and to create this story.
This video is shown so that everyone has a story and everyone has something beautiful to share. My inspiration is through that and connecting to others. I love to hear tales and experiences that people have lived and survived through. It gives me the inspiration to help share with others these stories of people through film. In the words of E.B. Tylor, culture is "that complex whole which includes knowledge, belief, art, morals, law, custom and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as a member of society." It is something that is passed on from generation to generation and something shared between people. It is expressed in many talented ways and from artists like Wendy Red Star in her photography and Ben Jones in his paintings. I personally do not believe I have a culture. I am just a person trying to enjoy my life while I’ve got one and express that through film and photography. We all deserve the freedom and right to be here on this earth. And sharing stories and spreading love is the only way of doing that.
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