Self Portrait

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-iBrhS9Mgk

Ayah Elgendy

Imagery Identity and Culture

Self Portrait

April 26, 2019

A Message from the “Oppressed”

            Self-portraiture has been created and manipulated in all different ways throughout history. I feel like what makes a self-portrait so special, is that the artist has to be vulnerable with themselves and with the audience, which is something that isn’t really easy for everyone. My self-portrait is a video that I made which includes messages about the religion I practice and how I’ve resonated with it. At the same time, it is meant to clear up misconceptions about Muslim women being oppressed because of their hijab (religious headdress). The reason I felt it was important to my identity to acknowledge the misconceptions is because I have been wearing hijab since the 5^th grade and it’s definitely something that has influenced many things in my life.

In the video I’m sitting on Islamic designed prayer rugs and cultural drapery on the beach. The beach is usually where I’m mostly judged because I’m fully covered in an area that most people are not. I’m wearing an “abaya”, which is an Arab cultural dress that my mom, my family and I grew up wearing. The one I’m wearing is one you would typically wear at home and the one that my sister in wearing the video is one that you would wear outside. Both styles very in multiple colors and designs. I chose to wear my specific one because it represents comfort. In the video my sister is unwrapping me with all the scarfs that I own. They represent different times, ages, and cultures that influenced me. Some of them are ones from when I first wore hijab. I start off with black, then it goes into solids, then patterns and florals, and then ends with my silk hijabs. This transition represents how women who wear hijab might look like on the outside to their status in Islam. The silk is a very special cloth in the religion and only women can wear it, which I feel represents the quality of prestige that women have in the religion. It represents what I strive to gain in my life. To be just a respectable human. At the end it reveals me eating French fries because I feel like if you’re eating French fries, it represents leisure and non-oppression. It’s also represents a corky, funny side to my personality, that I value a lot and in others. Throughout the video there’s a quote written by a well-known Muslim scholar: Yasmine Mogahed. It resonated with me a lot and I felt like it went with my concept very well and how I feel about my hijab.

My inspirations for the wrapped-up hijabs was an Instagram photographer named Ismail Zaidy. His images are amazing the way he treats his models and uses the colors, represents such delicacy and I love it. Frida Kahlo is just an amazing portrait artist and we aren’t using the same mediums at all but, she’s just an amazing inspiration for strong women in art. Boushra Almutawakel is my third influence. She did a “Hijab Series” which explored textiles and patterns from her culture and it’s beautiful. I love materials and cloths and seeing her art really resonated with me. Making a video was inspired by the Charles and Ray Earnes, Powers of Ten. They were able to show layers of identity and that a similar concept I was going for. It also made me think differently about our purpose and how big/small we really are. A reading also inspired me was Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development. He sates, “personality develops […]through eight stages[…]from infancy through adulthood”. Which I something that my different scarfs represented. Just the different stages in my life and what I found beautiful. Like I used to love floral and I still do, but I tend to where solids mostly now.  

The Unwaking Dream - Self-Portrait Writing Piece

Self-Portrait Artist Statement

            The Unwaking Dream is a writing piece that serves as an exploration into my struggle with the many sides of myself and a culmination of my style at the point in time it was written. Opening with the narrator waking in a diner, where he soon realizes things are not quite real, and he begins to see doppelgangers that represent various aspects of himself. Using a variety of inspirations, I chose to write this story to express, in what I hope is a thought-provoking way, not only my capabilities as a creative writer currently, but also my identity as I feel right now.

            Throughout the Imagery, Identity, and Culture course, we have explored various themes of identity and examples of how other artists have chosen to express themselves. The artists that have stuck most in my mind are Wendy Red Star and Kambui Olujimi. Their works were on what I think two sides of a very different spectrum. While Red Stars’ works were quite straightforward about her identity and subject matter, Olujimi’s were presented through mythology and fictional means. Both had a similar quality of relating to their personal and ancestral cultures. This is a quality that I have rejected to include in my work, as I do not feel that the culture of my family is an aspect identify with, outside of perhaps a few close relationships.

            While I am a video production major, I consider myself an artist in various mediums. Primarily photography and writing. The concepts presented in The Unwaking Dream are similar to a recent photography piece I completed. A black and white image of myself, with my face divided into 4 parts by color splashed lines, titled Fractured. A lot of my work tends to relate to the idea of myself or someone split into various parts, typically into separate characters.

            There were three main influences in this piece that I held in mind as I wrote, as they felt perfect for the tone I was going for. The first one being Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll. The madness of the world presented in the stories was something I wanted to bleed through, and the smiling and grinning is meant to reflect not only that but also the words of the Cheshire Cat. Second, the works of H.P. Lovecraft and the ideas of the human psyche being broken down by extraordinary circumstance and powers beyond our comprehension. Lastly, the films by Jordan Peele, specifically Get Out and Us. The metaphysical and mysterious concepts presented in these thrillers are something that has inspired and motivated me to not stray away from vague, possibly confusing themes for the sake of reaching a wider audience.

Attached is the writing piece itself.

Pocharapon Neammanee Podcast Self Portrait

Pocharapon Neammanee
Self Portrait artist statement

The art of oral storytelling is relevant is an all different culture. Today the same medium is followed in a variety of ways. This format is used in late night talk shows, programmed talks, and podcast. I primarily intended to structuring my self-portrait through a casual conversational podcast format because I believe it enables the audience to take a moment and listen to reflect upon the controversial ideas I present about my identities. This work is an attempt to a self-discussion in which I narrate through complex identities and present current affairs as it relates to them. Similarly, to another podcast, I attached the description to each episode with the links to the news articles.


  In my work, I present my ethnic, sexual, gender, spiritual, and citizenship identities. I chose these five specifically due to the controversial discussions surrounding them today. I believe that these identities are the most discussed regarding how we interact with others today. These identities are presented a lot through media and politics which gives the marginalized identities recognition however, in turn, may also leave to much understanding regarding these identities.
 
 In the first episode, I discuss my gender and sexual identity into two parts. The first part I discuss my male identification, how I defy toxic masculinity that is associated with my gender through subtle acts. These acts may include practicing better hygiene and transcending the stereotypical stoic facade that most males were instilled to present. I reference Bell Hooks from our class discussion and her experience dealing with her father’s toxic masculinity while identifying as a feminist. She highlights the turmoil she and her family endured as victims of her father. I also make a reference to Terry Crews. Terry Crews is an identified male who advocates against toxic masculinity. Gillette acknowledges his advocacy in their commercial which received much backlash from males who were offended.  By highlighting the toxic trait and patriarchy I Segway into my self sexual identity.

  In part two of the first episode, I define my pansexuality and comparing it from other sexual identities. I present the mainstreams medias identified the artist who came out as pansexual. Brendon Urie and Janelle Monae are the two most influenceable in my opinion, who represent my sexual identity. They have expressed LGBTQ pride in their work. Due to many misconceptions and confusions, it is important to discuss pansexuality because it disregards the concept of gender in total and focuses more on the romantic and emotional aspect of being in a relationship.
    In my third and final episode, I discuss citizenship as an identity. I identify as an undocumented immigrant was growing up I faced many challenges. I refer to the current affairs in Syria and how that affected my academic and career goals. In the past, I mentored Syrian refugee students in their academics. Hearing and learning from their stories helped me reflect on our previous class discussion of home and global citizenship. Reflecting upon that and the students who lost their sense of home better help me identify my own citizenship. I identify my home as to where I am and my citizenship in the world.  As cliché as that sounds I believe that I have positively influenced the global community one way or the other. Whether that is by raising awareness through my journalism or by interacting with other global citizens.
    Throughout this experience in producing a podcast, I was able to gain much insight into the difficulty it takes in organizing this type of medium. I also gain much insight into my own self-identity by presenting it. It helps me better understand the perspectives of other authors and artist we discussed inside and outside the classroom. Though the challenges of producing the podcast were more than I expected I still intend to continue and better this craft.

attached is my podcast playlist

https://soundcloud.com/soundslaker/sets/acm-self-portrait

Self Portrait

My self-portrait is a short and simple melody with straight forward harmony in A-minor. In this piece, I attempt to convey the everyday hardships of life and hope that gets each of us through the day. Musically, I do this by developing melody and harmony that is heavily centered on A-minor and then developing other ideas in C-Major to add a dash of hope. Then, I return to A-Minor to develop a new idea and finally end the piece by reintroducing the original melody to close it out. I created this piece because struggle and hope are common themes in my life and the lives of the people around me and I wanted to convey that through music. Most of my previous work has been electronically based with sampled sounds and looped tracks so taking on something based in composition was different for me. As far as professional aspirations, I hope to one day compose in the entertainment industry and I found that this piece closely resembles video game music which could’ve happened subconsciously due to my musical influences.

Some of my biggest influences are composers from all different corners of the entertainment industry including movies, television, and video games. From movie and T.V. my biggest influence has to be Michael Giacchino who has worked on Lost and The Incredibles to name a few. I didn’t find myself using any of his techniques when composing my piece, because I barely understand them, but I wouldn’t argue with anyone who claimed my rhythmic patterns are influenced by him in some way. I’d say my biggest influences, especially in terms of melodic content, would be Disasterpeace and Toby Fox. Both of these composers have made brilliant soundtracks for the best indie games to come out within recent years (Undertale and Fez, respectively).

Link to audio of piece: https://soundcloud.com/angel-rivera-315217494/self-portrait-project/s-p8w6N

"God Is A Concept"

"God Is A Concept" is an animated music video representing my inner thoughts about belief. Emphasizing my belief in not believing. As the world is full of dogmas, fanaticism, and false truths, and the only true thing to believe in is myself and my loved ones.
The medium used in my self portrait with strictly digital. I used an animation technique called rotoscoping to draw lip movements syncing with the audio. The audio i used  for  my work is, John Lennon’s “God.” The representation of my self image is portrayed ambiguously and childlike. This was intended to depict not only the child underneath all the layers of identity but all black not only representing the absence of color but the black matter in which all life is made of.
This work was inspired by Judith Howard’s “Social Psychology of Identities,” in which she breaks down what identity is and all the branches of identity we use to form our ideas of people and society. Another major inspiration for this piece was a class discussion where we covered the meanings of stories and what they mean whether stories are true, myth, or who we are. This discussion really resonated with me as i believe stories are all the above. Whether or not a story is factual, the narrative or the moral to a story may give purpose or faith in someone depending on how the perceived the story.
In “God Is A Concept”begins with repeating “God is a concept, by which we measure our pain.”This refers back to the class discussion about stories and is claiming that our perception of God is a story we make up to give our own suffering reason and purpose. i list the many stories we are all told throughout our lives and claim how i do not believe in them, they are just stories and stories are make believe. However i believe in me. My life is my story, I am the Hero in my journey. And in sharing my story i hope you can believe in me too.

Identity Project: Beneath the Mask

I decided to portray my identity through visual art alone, specifically digital painting. The idea was to separate my inner-self and the outer-self with a literal shell, treating the outer-self as a mask I wear to keep outsiders away from my more vulnerable self.
I started with the shell, then drew the inner-me within it to show that that side of me is available to those I hold closest. The inner-me wears a noose, a shackle with two pink pieces, and has an acid tablet on his tongue. In front of him is a blue electric keyboard. In order, these represent my suicidal depression (I feel fine, lately, don't worry); my attachment issues, especially with my two most prominent exes; a drug that I think has influenced my creativity and mindset; and finally my love for and participation in music. I would've liked to involve basketball somehow as it's a big part of me, but I think most representations would be distastefully on-the-nose. The mask is a representation of the Taysir that the vast majority of people experience when they meet me because it takes a long time for me to get comfortable with new people. I wear the mask because I struggle with social anxiety and it causes me to avoid conversations with people for as long as I possibly can. I rarely speak at all during school days for this reason, and I dislike group projects and presentations because of it. This is why the inner-me and outer-me are so different-- I never really feel comfortable enough to be 'myself' unless I know the majority of people in an area, or I'm surrounded by my circle. Then it's like the anxiety goes away and for a while, I don't feel so distressed about just existing. Going back to being alone and having to maneuver through the day with as few interactions as possible is exhausting and it led to some lengthy bouts with depression throughout high school and my first two years of college (I then transferred from Morehouse to here because it became unbearable). I distracted myself from my mental health by playing video games and listening to music pretty much always, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
I subconsciously drew from Erik Erikson's theory of Psychosocial Development, specifically the Isolation vs. Intimacy stage. I'm a very guarded person and it leads to isolation more often than not, and even in my honest attempts at intimacy, the relationships tend to be degraded by toxicity on both sides and unwillingness to fix it on one or both. My social anxiety has forced me into isolating myself whenever possible, and it takes persistence for people to crack through the shell and see if there's anything worthwhile inside. I'm appreciative of those who try, despite not wanting to ever start a conversation with a stranger myself.
I drew inspiration from a lot of people, but the most obvious is Alex Eckman-Lawn. A lot of his work has physical layers so that someone could actually reach into it-- the shell in my painting was done with a reference to one of his works. Other influences include Hirohiko Araki (creator of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure), Van Goth, and nychos. I mostly listened to PUP's album Morbid Stuff, Billy Woods's Hiding Places, and JPEGMAFIA's Veteran while thinking about what to do for this as well as while I actually got it done.

Self Identity

This piece is called Umbrella, touching different points of what I consider my identity. Originally, I planned to make this work overly ornate, but I realized that was not how I saw myself and how I thought I saw myself. It took a few days of self inspection, looking at the clothes I pick, the songs I listen to, and paying specific attention to how I react to people and to my own thoughts. My self identity in this piece is reflected by various aspects. The tiger itself is an animal that has stuck with me ever since I was a child. In Hinduism, each household has a god and goddess over each  family name, and for mine it’s Durga who rides on a tiger. As an Indian, the national animal for that country is a tiger. The tiger in this piece plays more of a spiritual role than a formal role. It carries all of the interests I have at surface value, and yet, all the labels I naturally fall under. Each label has affected me in life in specific ways which I will disclose in my presentation. The music notes represents my synesthesia, something that affects the music I listen to and sometimes the sounds I hear. It also serves as a containment to keep the painting in the background secure. That aspect also inspired the name of this piece, as if the sheet music is a barrier to keep the tiger away from the liquid paint. One of my inspirations was Chitra Ganesh, an Indian visual artist in Brooklyn who also does collages, and her saturated color in her imagery is what inspired me the most.



 The collage itself is on a 3ft x 4ft canvas, that is covered with a variety of acrylic pour paint. The sheet music is Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata Movement 1, twenty three pages printed out on tracing paper so parts of the painting could be seen through it. The tiger was drawn on poster paper and colored with prisma colored pencils. All the images were printed from my personal desk printer. Everything attached to the canvas is easily removable, double sided tape is holding the labels, sheet music, tiger, and the images on the tiger.